Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
