i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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