so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
