If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
