don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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