She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
