Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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