Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
