The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
