where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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