Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
