I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
