i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
