i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Boobs are out for the taking
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
