I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
