I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
