the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
