matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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