Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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