I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
