I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
