You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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