I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
