I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
