I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
