i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just pee around me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
