That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
