Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
