Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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