Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
