Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
