piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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