No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
