hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
