look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
