nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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