There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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