took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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