I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
