Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
