Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
