I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
