Sponge bath it is.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
