not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
