Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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