Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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