My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
