I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize