I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
