please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
