Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
