i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
