what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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