i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
