How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
