you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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