The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize