did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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