Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
