This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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