It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
