Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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